Friday, March 19, 2010

Fat People Make the World Go' Round




Last week, a news story broke about Donna Simpson, a woman that is striving, yes you heard me, striving, to become the fattest woman alive. She is currently hovering around 600lbs and is attempting to reach 1000lbs at her peak. If you haven't seen this story, please indulge is some truly horrifying journalism. Most likely, if you're anything like me, you'll read this story and finish with a nasty taste in your mouth and a feeling of total disdain.

Her nearly 800 dollar a week food habit is supported by men that pay to watch her eat fattening foods online, such as hamburgers and donuts. This is almost as despicable and disgusting as the suicide sites that allow you watch someone off themselves. In addition her boyfriend, ya I couldn't believe it either, helps take care of her increasingly demanding diet. He weighs in at 150lbs, at about one quarter her body weight, he obviously has about roughly the same proportion of brain cells, to support this masochistic act of selfishness.

Each year America struggles, with what Michael Pollan, a much revered food specialist, calls “Western Diseases” and an obesity epidemic and even with this knowledge we have a woman striving for deteriorated health. Her actions are a perfect example of why many countries hate us and refer to us as “Fat Americans”. Foreigners only see the outer shell of America, or in this case, a woman's fat ass.

What some don't quite understand is that what we healthy people pay in health insurance is used to subsidize sick people, Simpson included. She may not have health problems now, but just give it time. This should be taken as a direct insult to those that really can't control their weight through thyroid issues, or have other uncontrolled health conditions. She exemplifies the type of the person that lives through this then immediately gets some obscure ailment, like the Ebola virus. Yes, that would work real nice, Karma and irony. Talk about a canabal's wet-dream, Jefferey Dahmner is rolling around in his grave, restless he didn't get a whack at this woman.

Congrats you’re an obese white trash degenerate, consuming as much food and media attention as possible while simultaneously trading your health and dignity for two minutes of fame. You’ll be forgotten soon enough, and will develop type two diabetes as your reward. This rates at about the same level of desperation as the bubble-boy fabrication. Let me give you both a piece of advice, not everyone is meant to be, or will become famous, swallow your mediocrity, or in this case, your position at the very bottom of the gene pool and move on with your lives. On that note, I'm off to eat a hamburger in her honor. No Apologies, I Don't Think Before I Speak

Few Final Thoughts:

When she walks does it force the earth off it's axis like the earth quake in Haiti? Ok, maybe that one was a little too soon. You can thank Simpson here because today was infinitesimally shorter than the day before. Look out here comes the walking apocalypse with a serious case of stretch marks! That picture scares me a little. If I was the photographer I'd back off before she reaches for the camera next. On that note, I’m off to eat a burger in her honor.

Next Post:

Toyota Prius - The Silent Assassin Strikes Again

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